Beg
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Sequel to Cut Me Down. Sweets is tired of the dreams. Does someone get to him before he hurts himself?


I own nothing. Sequel to Cut Me Down. Abuse. Rape. Enjoy!

* * *

"Beg," he said gently scrapping the knife along my neck, "Beg me to kill you."

"Please," I said softly, "Please."

"Please what?" he asked smirking wickedly.

I opened my mouth to tell him to kill me. Instead my eyes opened and I found myself in my bedroom. A sigh slipped through my lips and I climbed out of my bed again. I was sick of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep again.

Walking out of my bedroom I went into the living room and sat down on the couch. My dream ran past my eyes as I sat down. There was a part of me that knew I needed help, but I just ignored that side of me.

I stood up again and walked back into the bedroom and changed into pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I left my bedroom and grabbed the keys to my car before leaving my house. Usually I would get ready for work, but I couldn't this time.

When I got to my office I sat down in the chair behind my desk and hit my head on the desk. These thoughts were getting too much for me to handle. I couldn't stop them anymore. I could still feel and see them.

*Flash Back*

I curled myself into a ball again. Their fists rained down on me in familiar ways. I wanted to stand up, to tell them to leave me alone, but I couldn't. As tears started to fall down my face I tried to block out someone putting my shirt off. The fists were soon replaced with angry caresses. I couldn't stop the shutter of fear that racked my body.

"Are you scared?" a male's voice asked, "Or do you like it just that much?"

Hearing another man let out a sickening laugh I tried to stand up. I didn't even get half way up when I was pushed back down. The hands stripped me of the rest of my clothes and used them to tie me to the bed, so my back was to them.

A whimper slipped through my lips when I felt something touch my ass. The laughter grew louder as someone pushed into me. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, but it kept me from screaming.

"Come on, Lance," a voice said from behind, "You know you want to scream. Scream as loud and as long as you want; no one can hear you."

Shaking my head I bit back another scream. This time the man behind me thrust into me harder every time. The other man that was there kneeled on the pillows that my head was resting on and forced me to look at his penis. My eyes widened when he forced me to take him into my mouth.

He thrust his hips so he was fucking my mouth. As much as I hated this I had gotten used to it over the past few years. There was nothing I could do. Ever if I told someone they wouldn't believe me.

"Sweets," someone said shaking me, "Sweets wake up."

"Fuck," I said falling out of my chair, "Miss Montenegro."

"Sweets," she said offering me her hand, "I heard you yelling. What was that all about?"

"Nothing," I said taking her hand and having her pull me up, "Just a dream."

"Sounded more like a nightmare," she said sitting down in front of my desk, "Want to tell me about it?"

"Why do you care?" I said sitting back in my chair, "You don't even like me."

"Of course I like you Sweets," she said confused, "I just don't like what you do. That doesn't mean I don't like you."

"It doesn't matter anyway," I said spotting the scissors on my desk, "You can leave now."

"Stop staring at them," she said standing up and picking up the scissors, "These will not help you."

"Yes they will," I said in a whisper.

"How will they help you?" she said angrily.

"They will help me kill myself," I said crossing my arms.

"Why do you want to kill yourself?" she said her eyes wide.

"No…Yes…I don't know," I said shaking my head, "I just want to forget all of this."

"Forget what?" she asked kneeling in front of me.

"My past," I said tears filling my eyes.

"Tell me about it," she said calmly, "Maybe I can help."

"No one can help," I said standing up, "Please leave."

"Why would I do that?" she said standing up also, "Just talk to me."

"I can still feel them," I said turning away from her and staring at the wall, "I can feel their hands running over my body, their mouths pressed against my body, their dicks inside of me. Whether they were stuffing them in my mouth or in my ass, damn it, I just want to forget."

"Oh Hun," she said pulling me into a hug, "Shh, Don't worry I'll help you, if you want me to help."

"I don't want to die," I said resting my head on her shoulder, "I just want to stop feeling them. I want to stop hearing them."

"Do you want my help?" she repeated making me look at her.

"Please," I said while whimpering.

"What did they do to you?" she said pushing me back on my chair.

"They raped me," I said pulling my legs to me, "I sucked them off. My back, they kept slashing my back."

"Oh Sweets," she said hugging me again, "How long?"

"They started when I was eight," I said cuddling into her the best I could, "And they didn't stop until I went to college. They only stopped because I moved to the college."

"Have you told anyone before?" she asked running her hands through my hair.

"No," I said shaking my head, "Please don't tell anyone, please."

"I won't," she said quickly, "You had to go through it for a long time. Wait, you said they. Was there more than one?"

"Yes," I said sighing, "There were two guys."

"Sweets," she said making me look at her again, "Promise me you won't hurt yourself."

"I can't," I said honestly, "I can't promise you that. I want to die. I want to get these images out of my head. I want…I want to…Stop liking it."

"You liked it?" she said her eyes wide.

"Yes…No…They told me I did," I said closing my eyes, "They told me I loved it. I had to love it. I mean they always made me cum."

"That doesn't mean you liked it," she said softly, "Your body reacted to it, yes, but your mind told you that it hurt, that you didn't want it."

"They made me beg for it," I said moving her so I could stand up, "I did. Every time I would beg for them to fuck me. I didn't want to, but I was afraid they would kill me."

"You did it to survive not because you liked it," she explained not touching me.

"I haven't…I haven't been with a person sexually since," I said falling to the ground, "I couldn't."

"I understand that you're scared," she said kneeling next to me, "But you have to try."

"I have tried," I said angrily, "I tried with the last few girlfriends I've had, but I can't. I keep seeing them."

"It wasn't your fault," she said touching my shoulder, "You didn't want it, but you were a child. You didn't know what to do, did you?"

"No, I didn't," I said shaking my head seeing where she was going.

"After you realized that you should tell you were too afraid, right?" she said running her hand through my hair again.

"Yeah," I said nodding, "I was afraid."

"And you got out as soon as you could, didn't you?" she asked smiling.

"Yes," I said looking up at her.

"Tell me what that all means," she said holding my gaze.

"That it wasn't my fault," I said slowly, "That I have to let this go before I do something stupid."

"Right," she said pulling me up, "That's what you need to do. Can you do it?"

"Yes," I said hugging her when we were both up, "Can I…Can I talk to you…You know if I need to?"

"Of course, Hun," she said holding me tightly, "Now I'm sure that you aren't supposed to be wearing that to work."

"You're right," I said laughing, "I should get home and get dressed."

"Why don't you see if you can take the day off?" she asked as we left my office, "I'm sure that you haven't spelt well in days."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "I will. Thank you Angela, I owe you."

"I'll figure a way for you to pay me back," she said when we got outside, "Just remember you can talk to me if you need to."

"I will," I said getting in my car, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said waving as I drove home.

Angela was right. I needed someone to know what had happened to me. The thoughts of them were still there, but they weren't as loud as before. I hoped that I could keep this up, and if someone was there to help me than I should be able to forget about it at least for awhile.


End file.
